Friday, March 20, 2009

Space Bats, Robots, Evil Lair Now With Added Stephen Conroy!

ITS TIME TO BE SCARED



Alien Space Bat Hitching A Ride On Discovery
Ya see this critter here? Well it just happens to be an alien space bat hooked on to the side of Space Shuttle Discovery earlier this week. Here's the proof. Sure the animal lovers will say it was a regular earth bat but if it was, why would it hang onto a bloody big bomb and get fried? No, it was an intelligent, alien space bat well used to blasting through planetary atmospheres in its never ending quest to conquer ordinary, harmless, good natured planets such as earth and turn us into space slaves to work in blood mines. No matter that we have the Giant Mutant Space Frog to worry about, now we find these alien freeloaders using Our Technology against us. If you want to save the world, go and kill as many bats as you can find.


This brings me to another problem.


Not really cute robot girl

So the Japanese are now producing fembots. Don't they know what happens when the machines start taking on human characteristics? The bloody fools. Sure, one day its smiling and winking and mouthing discordant platitudes, the next its zapping us with fancy robot ray guns. For fuck's sake Japan, stop it! That is unless you want to build one of these beauties. Its the only robot I'll consider saving.

Cute robot girl might be allowed to survive

So where does this leave us? Alien Space Bats, not-so-cute robot girls and the possibility of annihilation. Well, if you want to know, Professor Boylan is currently building his secret lair somewhere near Tonga. Makes a mess doesn't he? Nevertheless it will be a good place to hide.



I'm going to be there on opening day and make myself indispensable by pouring drinks, while someone else deals with the alien bats and evil robots. And don't even mention The Outbreak.

Edited to include a link to asking questions of Senator Stephen Conroy, the Minister in charge of makin a serious mess of the internet in Australia. From never-to-be fast broadband to nationwide censorship of whatever he decides at the time, this bloke has screwed the pooch. So ask him a question or two about being a zealous, right-wing coward whose incompetence is only matched by his ill placed hubris.

62 comments:

  1. I'll do the security of Mr Boylans lair. Gimme a sub and point me in the direction of whaling boats.

    Them cwazy Japanese peeps. Deviants mate. Pure and simple.

    Do you think the local bat colony were making their own version of Jackass?.

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  2. All serious concerns Therbs, but your constant crying wolf over Frogs severly dilutes your warnings.

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  3. I have played with lots of explody goodness in the past but I could never match the explody goodness that nature can produce. It was a magnificent display of nature at work.

    Don't be deceived by Cute robot girl. All Robots are evil! Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!

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  4. Clayton bought me one of those bats home tonight...headless. Fucker.

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  5. If they can make one like the fembots from Austin Powers one - machine gun jubblies and all - then they may actually be on to something.

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  6. dude you know you want a fembot. mine would look like 7 of 9

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  7. JAPAN, your robotic hubris will doom us all.

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  8. Say Nat, perhaps Clayton IS good for something.

    BTW the island shot, Thats Colnel H out the front trying out a new mix, and I'm up the back rippping down hot ones - hence the cloud of smoke. Good thing we got that exhaust fan fitted.

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  9. Nah just spinning yarns again Bob. He ain't that good.

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  10. Moko - yes, but eventually we'll be the jackasses when they invade and conquer our planet. When you get the security gig, don't forget your blog friends.
    Naut - The Giant Mutant Space Frog is real, just look over at the top left of this page. You'll be crying, yes pleading for help when the invasion happens.
    Mr Dr Yobbo - & Uamada - Cute Robot Girl will do just fine. Check out her weapons!
    Barnes - Its just a matter of time. That's why I don't eat sushimi or seaweed.
    NBob - But what about the secret lair? Prof Boylan is committed to building it.
    Nat - I preferred it when I thought he had captured and decapitated one of these space freaks

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  11. Cute robot girl has rather disturbing cleavage - could you get the designers to give her breasts a tweak?

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  12. Tweaks beat getting twiddled like a TV knob.

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  13. Lermie - your ideas are currently being tested by the guys in the lab coats.
    Nat - but sometimes ya just gotta change the radio station or send out messages: London Calling!

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  15. Do NOT poke fun at the Japanese Fembot Mark 1. Instead of being disappointed that there isn't more, you should marvel that they started with the face. That is very much out of character - and admirably so.

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  16. Dr Y - or plunging a blocked dunny, blocked by assorted sanitary and safe sex products.

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  17. PB, I believe taht's because they went against the idea of building from the ground up. Them wacky Japanese.

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