Thursday, January 29, 2009

Phone Companies Are Death Mongers

It gives me the irrits that phone chargers aren't compatible. My battery is starting to show signs of terminal illness and there's not one compatible charger lying around amongst the dozen or so I could find here in the bureau. No, they're all clever sods which don't like each other's innnie and outie bits. Its like they're all gay and my phone is hetero (or vice versa).
Sure, I'm looking to replace my phone (Nokia) but I want to make sure that the new phone fits the three chargers I already have spread around Sydney. Its a simple thing. Stick to a standard you tossers! Didn't the Apollo 13 crew almost die because the oxygen supply hook-ups in the command and lunar modules were incompatible? So the near death of 3 astronauts has taught us nothing. If left to the phone companies, astronauts would die. Therefore its obvious that phone companies are killers. I bet Bell and Edison never considered that when they came up with their first talky jam tins on wire.* They are guilty by association. Bastards.
Its the sort of frustration which leads me to a bar seeking solace, companionship and merriment.
Bloody good idea.

* if any wanker comes on saying that it wasn't just Bell and Edison who could lay claim to inventing the telephone they can jam those arguments up the khyber. The same goes for nitpicking about mobile, cellular and landline phones. Just go with it, n'kay?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

While you're doing that could you please be gentle?

I was thinking what the most appropriate response would be to the NSW State Government's new increase in toll charges for cars heading into the city in peak hour. The idea is that they bumped up the toll to $4 to get extra cash under the camouflage net of attempting to help alleviate peak hour congestion. The toll is actually reduced if you travel when everyone is either asleep, at work, at school, playing golf or in the pub. No-one bought the congestion reduction excuse for a second. Its simply a tax hike and the local motoring club has called for proof of life for the congestion reduction theory. Surprise surprise it wasn't provided by the gummint because it simply doesn't exist.
Sydney people only drive across the bridge or through the tunnel in peak hour because they mostly goddammed have to. Its not an enjoyable experience for most commuters. It ain't something you'd really choose to do. Its done out of necessity because of either non-existent public transport alternatives or to beat a combination of bus-bus-train-change train connections, and child care and school drops, which would mean you start your trip at 5.30 a.m. and get to work 3 hours later. That's if the bus actually showed up. An hour by car is the least painful, despite the expense and the not-funny breakfast radio teams. (which reminds me that its about time they do 'Secret Sound', 'Random Act of Kindness' or 'Battle of the Sexes' again.) Sure it'd be nice if there were a heap more trains and buses and they went to places where people live and work and did so on time, but I think both Walt Disney and Mussolini are dead so we can rule out such fantasies.
So another tax is jacked up and we're meant to say 'thank you'. Well while you're reaming us please be gentle oh Great Government of New South Wales. At the next election we promise to be gentle with you. We really mean it. Honest.

*disclaimer - I commute by public transport but in the past have through necessity had to drive to work. I'm glad I no longer have to.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Before The Cricket

So I'm soon to do a bunk and meet up with some friends to go here. I've decided that I'll be wearing shorts. My comrade spy Nat however, reckons kilts are good man clothing. Usually I reckon she pretty much hits the mark but in this debate I disagree with the lovely spy mistress. I'm not wearing a woollen dress to the cricket. Its too freakin' hot for such clobber. If I was in cauld, cauld Scotland it may be a different matter but Sydney in the full blast of summer is not a kilt kind of place. Besides that it would only confuse my mate from Tasmania who just touched down . My other friends would probably tease me. Being a sensitive soul I wouldn't stand up to their torment and would run away with tears running down my face. Not a nice image.
The venue itself will be a hot place today, getting up past 30 celsius. They only sell light beer in the public areas thus forcing us to make use of hip flasks so that we can have a few drams to brace ourselves for the combat against Seth Eflicka. I'm looking forward to seeing how the young Dave Warner goes on his home ground. I'm just wondering if he'll belt out his trademark hit "Suburban Boy" with the classic line "I know what its like, to be rejected every night. I'm sure that it must be, easier for boys from the city". Let's hope he does well.
In Finance news the all ords are slipping again and there's a few more empty seats around the bureau. Luckily my seat is safe. I'm told its because I don't wear kilts.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

If Obama Played Cricket

In November 2005 the South African cricket team arrived in Australia to play a 3 Test series against our boys. Their captain, Graeme Smith made some very brave and eventually foolish statements about how the South Africans were going to defeat the Aussies and that our genius bowler, Shane Warne wasn't really that much of a threat. Australia defeated them 2-0 and a month later went over to South Africa and thrashed them 3 out of 3.

This year the South Africans again came over to play. This time their captain (Smith again), didn't say much except that they were feeling that if they played well, they had a chance of winning. There was no trash talk. Instead a just a calm and confident statement of how things were shaping. They won 2-1 and now look good for more victories at home when Australia visits next month.

Compare this to Obama. He's made a lot of statements about hope, unifying the country, taking on the economic meltdown and implementing change. That's a lot of brave talk. If he were just about to embark on a cricket tour we'd be asking big questions about Obama backing up the talk when he walked onto the field. Is he going to be the Graeme Smith of 2005 or 2008? His talk so far has been the Smith 2005 vintage. Rhetoric to win elections and gee up the population is expected. Follow up action is problematic.

Let's hope for the sake of our American friends that there is substance behind the verbals.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Summer Continues

My beach holiday skin is fading, Christmas and New Year festivities seem a long time ago and work routine has thrown a tantrum and kicked me right in the goolies like a frustrated four year old in the supermarket chocolate aisle. However the beach is still just a five minute stroll from my dugout, the international one-day cricket games are about to start and a mate from Tassie is coming up next week to have a few beers and go here to watch Australia vs Seth Efflicka. The Sydney Festival is on and there's always a cool drink to be had.

Drinks tip - if you have acquired cheap gin and want to tart it up all you need do is grab a large (clean) jar, chop up big chunks of citrus fruit and put them in the jar. You then fill up the jar with your cheap gin. Put the gin jar in the fridge for a few hours to chill, allowing the gin to pretend to be of higher caste, chill out and become infused with hints of citrus flavours. Then serve as you would normally. I prefer a large, tall glass with a mini iceberg floe at the bottom, followed by a large slug of the gin and topped with tonic. A slice of lemon split over the rim is okay.
One (maybe two) of these after an early evening swim down the beach are a fine set up for the night. If you can't be bothered with all of that just grab a chilled beer. I'm currently working my way through some Little Creatures and Gage Roads.

Speaking of beer I have a hankering for sausages and onions cooked on a bbq and topped with lettuce and tomatoes, all sitting inside a length of baguette. Mmmmm, sausages. Shame I can't access Mr Frellman's blog at wordpress. He'd tell me what to do.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Geez, I must have drunk something

Well I tried re-doing the template and got pissed off with the whole thing and deleted the first one. Then I found that I had re-named the blog spot URL or whatever its called. Stuff it, I'm off to the pub. sometimes the pub is the answer and this is definitely such occasion.