Thursday, February 4, 2010

Games and Names

No travel tales this time but they will continue in the next post. First up a tiip of the Tooheys Extra Dry cap to Dr Yobbo who has part one of a hangover tale going on over at his place  As usual its well worth a read.  Do it now before the bugger starts publishing for money and we have to actually fork over bags of cash to read his gear.  Money which can be spent on other things.  Like Uncle Teds or Boags Premium.  And live sport of course.

Speaking of sport I watched NSW limp in against the FKN Cane Toads the other night in a Ford Fucked Gearbox and Leaky Sump Cup 50 over match, largely due to Phil Jaques finding form, batting through the innings and scoring over 170 not out off just over 130 balls.  Now that was awesomeness in the flesh.  A pity the bowling brigade (under 19's except for Bracken) couldn't maintain the pressure and force a drubbing on the Fourex suckers. Oh well, a win is a win and we like those here in NSW when most of the team is either injured or on duty with the Australian squad.  Hang on, 'twas only last night. Fuck, I need a drink.  We were watching the game while attempting to answer trivia questions at the Edinburgh Castle, the scene of my fight with Nautilus' Green Frog of Awesomeness.  That's my fist you see shaping up to GF and the pic above is a beer tableau enjoyed by Naut and myself.
In the trivia last night we bolted to the lead only to be beaten by a bunch of googlers who aced the 2nd and 3rd rounds thanks to Steve Jobs and his i-Phone.  In theory they're banned but ...  The hostess realised this and spotted us an extra voucher to go on top of the 40 buck bar tab we got for coming 2nd.  Three jugs of Carlton later we didn't give a flying fuck about googlers and were looking to see if Johnny Iwank had any runners in the Perth Greyhounds.  Our team name for the evening was "The Ball Sucking Pakis".  Usually most teams will stick with the same name each week.  We reckon that's boring so we pick on something topical and try and twist it.  "Ball Sucking Pakis" was tops because it roped together racism and homophobia in one hit.  Previous team names have included;
"It won't suck itself"
"I sucked off my neighbour's alsation"
"John Howard is a cunt" - always a good stand-by if we were struggling for ideas.

Generally the idea is to abuse someone famous who has just passed away or has been in the headlines recently.  Something like "xxxxx is a paedophile"  generally doesn't get read out by the trivia host(ess), but something like "Malcolm Turnbull's noxious arse emission" will get through, unlike emissions trading legislation in the Senate.

So here's a busted arse challenge for anyone who'd like to contribute to our winningness. Come up with a team name.  Keep in mind it has to be embarrassing for the trivia goon to read out and cause anguish, revulsion and/or embarrassment to at least one group of people.  For example, I heard that Matthew Stokes, a Geelong AFL player was busted for dealing cocaine.  What first comes to mind is something like;
"Matthew Stokes is the victim of a snow job"  or "Stokes Coke joke blows" or "Mathew Stokes possessions stats - two kilos" or "Matthew Stokes and his Geelong snow dome" or "Matthew Stokes wins the Winter Olympics snow jump". They're a bit lame but you get the general idea.  The person with the best suggestion/s gets some sort of lame prize from the Therbs Lame Prize Cupboard sent to them by post or courier, depending on what I can wrangle at the time and depending on what the prize actually is.  And that's if I can be arsed actually doing it, because I am a lazy cunt after all.  Now its time for a drink.  Cheers.


  1. "Matthew Stokes possession stats: 2kg"

    .... fucking GOLD, take that one to the bank, that's awesome.

    Be back when I've thought of sumpin


  2. Not much help for you-I'll leave this to the locals-but I do look forward to seeing what gets tossed out for names.